i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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