I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
