I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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