At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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