seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize