i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
