Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
