I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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