That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
