so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
