The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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