I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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