Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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