You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
