Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
