Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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