I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
