If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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