Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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