Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
