why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
