yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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