So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
smell my finger.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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