Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
