Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Little spoons don't ask big questions
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
