ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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