You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
