Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How naked do you want me to be?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
