But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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