I think i peed on brittanys purse
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
