Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
