So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
