We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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