Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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