Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize