Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We need to get me chipped asap
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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