no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
