It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
