I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
is it fun? or sober?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
