I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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