no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
