So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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