Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The best revenge is premature balding
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
