Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
