used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
