I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
