I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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