Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
