So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
