Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
