We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
