u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
