butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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