Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
