You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
