I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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