I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
