he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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