tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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