i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
