don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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