I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
