i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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