put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
