I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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