is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
