spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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