i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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