Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
